I’m typing this, not even knowing if anyone will really read this whole thing, but I figured there’s been many folx who’ve been following my journey this last years and have seen me go through a dozen business plans, a bunch of pivots and then it all sort’ve faded out. So I’m here to share the highs, the lows, and what my current situation is and what I’m hopeful for down the road!

So I won’t go into this part a lot, as I don’t want this to be the focus of this post, but in February 2019, I took a leave of absence from my work as I was struggling with my mental health. I’ve worked in the field of social services since 1998, always juggling multiple jobs at the same time, doing my best to gain the most experience I could with the hopes it would lead me to a permanent position somewhere. And I finally found that position, and it was amazing with the BEST group of humans ever. But sadly, by the time I got there, the issues had already begun and it took another two years to start to really impact my life and my work, so I took a leave to heal.

From helping humans to helping the animals…….

The idea of opening a vegan business was in my head when I first went off, as I had been thinking of future options if I decided I could not return to the field full time. I went through the full medical unemployment and landed on long-term disability through my employer. After 6 months, I returned to my casual job doing harm reduction outreach as, oddly enough, that position has a drastically less amount of crisis and stressful situations. Long story short, I developed mental health issues and ultimately many physical health issues as a result of unresolved personal trauma, vicarious trauma and ongoing loss of people around me. The thing that helped me so much during this time was cooking. Planning and figuring out how to veganize some of my fave dishes. I started to document the delicious dishes I made when I had consumed cannabis and had the munchies!!!

The journey of the business plan………

My first idea was weekly meals, preppred in a commercial kitchen for a set pick up day. Pretty straight forward, though not really what I wanted to do so that when something else that seemed amazing popped up, I went that route. I was offered a space in an existing restaurant to have my own tiny menu as they changed how their operation run. After meeting with a business advisor, I turned it down as there was too many “sketchy” things going on (she had met with another person who also was approached by this person). I also realized then, that running my own place would be a much better deal at the rates he was charging me, so another pivot took place!

From there, I had found a commercial real estate agent offer to help me find the perfect spot, pro-bono!! (So if you know someone who needs a guy, let me know and I’ll send you his name to help his business!). I set to raising funds as I knew I wouldn’t qualify for any bank loans and there were absolutely no government loans I qualified for as I was either too old, or haven’t been in business for a year. After a while, it was obvious, this just wouldn’t work out as I wasn’t able to raise anywhere close to what I’d need for the bank to take me seriously. Again, it was time to shelve that idea.

Next. I connected with a local small business who had space in her kitchen for a new start-up. I was excited as there were already two other small businesses running on top of her own that appeared to be doing very well. And I should’ve just gone with that – taken her up on her offer to chat about how we could work together. But I turned it down because someone else offered me to work alongside him on a food truck. We were still figuring out the details, whether having my own day of the week (when he was closed), or just have a joint menu and work together. I pivoted again and planned to work on a food truck. I spent money on proper “heat” clothes, shoes, bought all the kitchen accessories I’d need, made the announcement to our local groups and on my pages, ordered new shirts, and then, long story short, I got ghosted on practice day.. And then it just never panned out

So, again,I had to figure out what to do. Something with minimal start-up, as I’d already been spending the savings I had on all these plans, as each situation required different things and business plans.

I reached out and got my name on the list to become a new vendor at our local markets. I figured I could maybe rent that commercial kitchen again and sell one or two of my favourite dishes for the summer and hopefully that would help me convince the banks to give me a loan.

Then Covid hit and the Farmer’s Markets were cancelled and they didn’t reach out to anyone to reschedule for this year.

At this point, I had resigned my permanent job as I knew that my brain and my abilities to do the job at the level it required were just not capable and I didn’t want to keep my boss in limbo anymore as to whether I was returning or not.

My last pivot found me in talks with two lovely women who owned a small restaurant. I was going to operate 3 evenings a week (they were a brunch spot) as a take-out only spot. We negotiated a contract and I (of course) spent more money getting prepared. Months went by and we were facing the second wave of Covid, while entering the darker, winter months. There were a few things from the other end that weren’t sitting well with me and I think would have been detrimental to being successful at that time, coupled with the knowledge that my relationship was over, but not knowing if my partner would move out right away, doubling my expenses. Knowing I wouldn’t start to make an income for at least a few months, I contacted the restaurant and said I had to shelve this plan, at least until spring when hopefully things will look better (oh, what a naïve thought!).

Over the late fall/winter months (2020-2021), my physical health issues and capabilities had declined. I found out that one of the conditions I was dealing with was HPA Axis dysfunction, which in a nutshell, affects the adrenals and my ability to process stress properly (after decades dealing with trauma, this wasn’t shocking). The lack of ability to physically handle stress, (anxiety disorder, coupled with my muscles being in constant pain plus the ongoing issues with my hand strength resulting in trigger finger in one hand and carpal tunnel in the other) meant that opening and running a restaurant by myself was just not in the cards and, if I continued, it just may land me in hospital, if not worse. So, that project was just cancelled.

Somewhere in all this, I also started cooking from home for a few friends. I’d create a menu and they’d place an order for the week. During Covid, our provincial government changed the laws around home based food businesses, and though some are now allowed, the foods I make do not qualify. I also have an open kitchen and am unable to keep the cat out, something Public Health frowns upon LOL. I’ve had to stop that, because By-law was cracking down on these, resulting $50K fines – which would ruin me for life.

At this point, I’d used up my savings, whether it was paying for help with the business plans, paying for permits, licenses, clothes, kitchen tools, marketing tools, and due to my living expenses doubling, I had to figure out something quick!

I decided to put more time into building the online brand. From recipes to merch to social justice issues, I’m trying to make my way in the social media world. I’ve recently closed down my Facebook account, so you may notice more of that side of me creep in here , Instagram, Twitter & Tik Tok (phew), though I am trying to keep this page just for veganism, I will not turn my head away from the opportunity to share knowledge on my platforms.

So as I write this, mid June 2021, I’m working casually at my job in harm reduction and I’m signed up to be a dog walker/sitter/boarder with Rover and as of now have one regular dog. It’s not enough to survive on, so I’m still exploring other options. As of two days ago, my car is back on the road, so I’ll be looking into ways to use that to make more money. I was just thinking of doing a vegan instant cart because there’s no way I can do other’s groceries and have to handle carcasses. I’d get fired pretty quick as I’d substitute their items with vegan ones hehehe. I am exploring a few options, but will be careful what to take on for now. I need a stress-free life for a while!!

I’ve created e-books, am working on a hardcover cookbook and decided to create some merch, all to try to grow my platform. My website is basic, and not monetized until I can afford to upgrade to the premium one, so help me get there!

I’ve been trying to get my kitchen renos finished so I can make more cooking videos for YouTube. But have to wait til my hands are strong enough to hold a paintbrush for that long!

I currently have a goal of reaching 10K on Instagram – help a girl out if you can!I’m open to talking to others about working together on a new project/business. I really do have so many amazing ideas. I’m all about supporting our community, our marginalized folx and of course, helping the non-human animals. So if you’re interested in working together, or want to be an investor, let’s chat!

Did this even make sense? Feels like it was a long ramble. I wanted to give you all the details, but didn’t want this to be a 40 minute read, so it’s pretty surface, but this is the story of what happened and how close I got so many times to having a business that’s operating.

Did I say I even incorporated? So if anyone knows the paperwork needed to end a corporation, I could use that help too lol, since it’s just pointless to have it out there if I’m not making any money.

(I mean, I do know, I looked it up, but it’s not something I can do at the moment).

Okay, off to make some Bruschetta 🙂

Take care.

Jackie

Munchies with Love

(Check out my social media, donate to my Paypal or send me a sugar daddy/momma LOL)

~~~ add on….

I actually typed that, then the oven timer went off and I went to grab my pizza (I’m sure I’ll post it to IG , it’s a GF Daiya Supreme!) but I got back and couldn’t remember what I was adding on lol. Did I mention I also have a memory/cognitive issue now too? I’ll come back and update if I remember or come up with something new. I have pizza to eat!!!

take care